Need a face mask? Try our latest: Bull’s Blood Mask!

I’m not even kidding. A remedy for blemishes in the early modern era in England (1655, to be precise) recommends the blood of a hare or a bull to do away with those unsightly freckles and make your skin fair. What is even more hilarious is that there is a single addendum to the recipe that simply reads ‘-Proved’.

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Whoever tried this and succeeded, I’d really like to meet them. Also (not that you will ever try this, and please don’t, because that poor hare/bull and your carpet will not mix), imagine if your doorbell rang and you answered the door with a face covered in blood. And then imagine trying to explain to your unnerved/terrified visitors (and potentially police) that no, you haven’t killed anyone. You just wanted to get rid of your freckles, officer, and haven’t you heard, it’s the latest in facial cleansing?

I wonder how many people tried this. Someone must have at least – unless the fellow who wrote this (hello, Marquis of Worcester) decided to make it up for a bit of fun. It’d certainly make for a scare or two.

  • Lupton, Thomas (ed.); Worcester, Edward Somerset, A Thousand Notable Things on Various SubjectsWalker, Edwards, and Reynolds, 1815 (first published 1655), p. 59

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